Sunday, June 25, 2006

Speeding Motorcycle 6/24

Yowza! I feel like I’ve been on an emotional magic carpet ride. I’m fucking tapped.

Tonight was beautiful. It’s seems that the end (for the time being) always brings out the best in people. You (or at least I do) corner cast/crew/friends who’ve been an important part of the show and lay a bunch of heavy feelings or words of praise on them that somehow had gotten smothered until that moment. Tonight was no exception. I think it’s totally cliché to say, but we’ve truly become a family during the course of this project.
All night I’ve been grasping for words to describe the journey we’ve been through together and have consistently come up short. I just kept asking everyone involved, “Wasn’t this fun?” It somehow doesn’t seem to do justice to the experience, but that’s what keeps coming out. Wasn’t it though?
I worried throughout the show that my nervousness was getting the best of me. I felt like I somehow wasn’t able to let it all hang out. Harnessed by apprehension. I am my worst critic and hope that I’m just over thinking it. After the show, Jason eased my fears by saying that hadn’t been the case at all and was, in fact, quite pleased with the outcome. Good. I feel a little bit better.
I totally lost it during “Birthday”. Performing it directly to my mom, I attempted to fight back the emotions, but they came flooding through. You just don’t get that many chances in life to express, to an attentive crowd, the depth of emotions you hold for those who have provided you with unconditional love and support your entire life. She is my everything.
It was so great to look out in the audience tonight and see all the repeat offenders. We’ve obviously struck a chord with more than a few people and knowing that is a tremendously comforting feeling. It makes me feel like everything I’ve worked for in the last 25 years has not been in vain. Chet, Elf, CFL, & Elise, your devotion means the world to us.
And then there was Charlesanne’s mother. She was about four rows back on the right hand inner aisle, and sat on the edge of her seat the entire time. I told her after the show that she was my muse for the night. She was radiant and overflowing with emotion and energy. She cried and cried and cried. There were tears of sadness, joy, elation, and inspiration from her. Talking with her after the show filled my heart with pride.
I asked Jason at the bar last night if I could work up something extra to perform following the lobby concert to commemorate the moment. He agreed and I set about the task as soon as I got home. He gave me several suggestions and I decided on the song “Enchanted Love” which had been one of my audition pieces. The moment came and it was an experience I’ll remember the rest of my life. The feeling of having the crowd hanging on every nuance of the song was nothing short of total bliss. It was a dream come true.

Finally, I raise my glass to my fellow cast and crew members. We fucking did it. And we did it bigger than any of us could have imagined. I’m so fucking proud of you all for fighting the good fight and bringing a beautiful thing in to the world. That is priceless and will live with us forever. I’d also like to thank Jason, Tony, Tamarie, Troy, Wayne, and Lisa for their tireless efforts and vision. You guys are amazing and I feel so lucky to have you guys on our side. Thank you all for making my dreams come true. Hang on to your loving feelings!

Wasn’t that fun?!

3 Comments:

Blogger Christa M. Forster said...

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, SF. I looked forward to your every single post, and through them you allowed me to feel connected to y'all in spirit, during this special time, a time in my life when it's hard for me to connect physically with IBP.

xoxoxoxo, xta

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for Love Enchanted and please keep doing it. That was beautiful.

j

2:41 AM  
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6:23 AM  

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